Don’t ignore… – My post for National Infertility Awareness Week
I didn’t walk into the reproductive endocrinologist knowing the risks, just the hopes. And that was naive.
The infertility journey takes place in a crowded casino. 1 in 8 couples are struggling to build families. My husband and I queued up, tossed our monetary wager on the counter, and never considered what else we might be losing. We walked in with one thing on our minds- pregnancy resulting in our biological child.
On this side, after four years of trying to conceive, countless invasive and painful procedures, thousands of dollars, one pregnancy, losing our almost-daughter to Turner Syndrome, and after giving up on our dream, I’m finally sitting down and counting the cost of our gamble.
Everyone knows it’s expensive. IUI, IVF, adoption, all of it. I was grateful we had insurance that covered half of procedures, even while not helping with drugs, because that made me one of the lucky ones! Don’t ignore that most insurance companies don’t cover infertility.
But you know what else I lost? My ability to walk through a store aisle with a baby in it, and my desire to see friends with small children. My reality became turning off any TV show where someone was pregnant, or giving birth, or nursing a newborn. And don’t get me started on those diaper commercials featuring new dads. Just… ouch. Don’t ignore the way infertility changes people, beats them up physically and emotionally. We are a sensitive group. We need love and support.
I look in the mirror and feel older than I am, broken, depressed. I put so many things on hold during our journey; haircuts, new clothes, peace of mind, ease of spirit. My focus became how many good follicles I got, or how long my luteal phase was. I was storing up all the good feelings to use when we got to hold an infant in our arms. Then I would have reached my goal. Don’t ignore the impact of infertility on self worth.
I never thought we’d end our journey with no payoff. And in infertility, there is one payoff- a child. Everyone has their limits of how far they can and will go to get one, but that is the end game. Please don’t ignore how many people don’t get there.
You can learn about infertility, and it’s causes, here http://www.resolve.org/infertility-overview/what-is-infertility/
You can learn more about NIAW here- http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html