So Angie Writes – Life's A Challenge, So Angie Writes!

So Angie Writes – Life's A Challenge, So Angie Writes!

Trauma Recovery – Shame Resilience – Self-Compassion – Coping With Chronic Pain

Allowing Pain A Voice

January 25, 2014 | 20 Comments

I wanted a bigger family. It’s not likely to happen.

This morning I wrote six poems. Or rather, they wrote me. The words were projected with force onto the laptop, then saved in a folder called “PAIN.”

Allowing Pain a Voice by #infertility #grief

Writing is a practice. It’s a way of moving thoughts from head to paper, and feelings from gut to file. My most honest writing is the type I’m not prepared for- when the words appear and shock me.

There is a familiar pain blended into the background of my life. So familiar that I forget it’s there. I drag it along.

Writing gives voice to that pain. Why should pain be allowed a voice? Because joy is allowed a bellow, and excitement screams on high, and happiness is adored as it sings.

It’s time to realize that pain is a normal part of life. It’s not to be shut up, ignored, tamped down, or fixed. It’s allowed to be here. It’s not necessarily to better us, or build character, or force us to see silver linings. Pain simply is.

We are human, quite lucky to be stardust solidified and animated. A wide range of emotions accompanies this honor. It’s time for the symphony.  I intend to let it out.

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20 people are talking about “Allowing Pain A Voice

  1. So poignant and so true. And when you reveal the pain and share it, you free others to do the same. I am proud of you.

    • Angie

      Thank you so much. Today such pain came bubbling out. I was surprised. I feel like sharing pain normalizes it. And I feel it needs to be normalized.

  2. Love you, friend. I think we all need this reminder that pain is a part of all of our lives, and the trick is learning to live with it with some grace, not pretending that it doesn’t exist. Holding your hand through the pain.

    • Angie

      Thank you, sweet Sarah. I tried for a while to pretend pain didn’t exist, and then I spent a very long time trying to outrun it, numb it, distract myself, etc. But now I know pain is here, and it is often a proof of my deep love. Thank you for holding my hand. XO

    • Angie

      Thank you, Brooke. I’m glad you stopped by. This was a tricky prompt. I really had no idea where it would lead until I started typing.

  3. I saw this prompt coming and oh my word I could probably fill a notebook, right? I haven’t tackled it yet.

    There’s no way to get through the pain but through it, sit with it, let it in. Hello, Pain. I see you. Let’s sit together a while.


    • Angie

      (((hugs))) Amy. Yeah, I wasn’t sure what I’d write as I saw this prompt approaching. I really had no idea what would come out until I sat to type, then six grief poems came from nowhere, just days after I tweeted I was in a place of acceptance! Oh my heart! Well, I feel I’m in the acceptance part of grief when it comes to Lillian, but apparently I’m very much not ok with the journey being over. I’m grieving now, it seems, for what never even was. Oh, life.

      You’re right about pain. It’s the same as fear. Come along, you two! We can be together, but I’ve still gotta move around! 😀

  4. Angie, my God this resonates with me so much you would not believe it…I know this pain so well and I am hugging you from afar xxx my post today will explain. This pain becomes part of who we are and these sentences you have written says it all for me ‘There is a familiar pain blended into the background of my life. I’m so used to it that I forget it’s there, yet I drag it along with each step.’ and yes it is and should be allowed to be there xx

    • Angie

      Jane, I’ll head over to your blog momentarily to leave you love. Such a difficult road when our bodies don’t work right, or downright rebel. (((hugs))) Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I’ll head to your place now. XOXO

  5. “It’s time to realize that pain is a normal part of life. It’s not to be shut up, ignored, tamped down, or fixed. It’s allowed to be here.”

    yes!!! a whole life contains it all, including the pain. when you try to shut it out, you shut out the good things, too.

    beautiful piece, angie. <3

  6. You wondered how many comments you would get, with a topic we tend to hide from. Instead, you unleashed acceptance in many. That is what writing is all about.

    • Angie

      I am so glad folks came by to read, and stayed to respond. What a gift this blog is. What support and validation I get here. I am so relieved to finally have a nice space to speak my truth, and I’m so glad people, like you, are along for the ride! <3

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