So Angie Writes – Life's A Challenge, So Angie Writes!

So Angie Writes – Life's A Challenge, So Angie Writes!

Trauma Recovery – Shame Resilience – Self-Compassion – Coping With Chronic Pain

Sunrise/Sunset – Another Day Lost

March 9, 2014 | 16 Comments

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I wake with a stabbing in my left hip. The light is filtered through the shades. It’s early. The pain is elastic. I fold into myself, trying to put a little slack in the line. My breath is shallow, for lung expansion leads to the pull, the tug, the cinch, the snap. There seems to be a wire through my pelvis. I am a marionette to this disease.

I spend the day in bed. I try this and that and it’s futile. The pain doesn’t respond to convention. It remains, and tears collect on my pillow. I’m relying on my leading man to bring me food and help me to the bathroom. Shame is on my cheeks, I’m sorry on my lips.

The sun tucks behind the mountains. The room darkens. I turn on my bedside lamp. I missed the day. I couldn’t help with bathroom renovations. I canceled dinner with a friend. I’ve missed so much these twenty-some years with endometriosis flaring inside my body. Collapsed on hard floors. Thrown up in bed.

I’ve lost control of parts of myself that a person needs control of to feel whole.

I feel alone. I feel lost. I feel unseen. Misunderstood. Ashamed.

Over five million girls and women suffer from Endometriosis in the US, and many more suffer world-wide. I am not alone. I’m sorry I’m not. Endometriosis is a day-stealer. It is a dream-stealer. It is a life-stealer. And I don’t know what to do about it.

Click button for Endometriosis Fact Sheet

Click button for Endometriosis Fact Sheet

Write along with me!

Write along with me!

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16 people are talking about “Sunrise/Sunset – Another Day Lost

  1. Oh Angie. I am so sorry you have this pain. Like others have said, by writing about it, I am sure it is helping others who also suffer feel not so alone. And it gives those of us who don’t know much about this disease, the information we need. So we can have compassion. And sit with you in your pain, even from a distant. I am so sorry I haven’t been by lately. But I have been thinking of you! And I hope to be back to a normal on-line presence now! 🙂

    • Angie

      Thank you, Jen. It helps me feel better to express it sometimes, and to be met with compassion and care means so much. Thank you. I will be glad to see more of you all over my screens! 😀 XO

  2. “I am not alone. I’m sorry I’m not.” Those sentences just pierced to my very soul, because I know exactly what you mean. Nothing I’ve ever experienced in my life has taught me compassion for other like all the different types of pain I’ve had. It’s comforting to know others understand it from the inside, but I hate to think of anyone else living through it.

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