So Angie Writes – Life's A Challenge, So Angie Writes!

So Angie Writes – Life's A Challenge, So Angie Writes!

Trauma Recovery – Shame Resilience – Self-Compassion – Coping With Chronic Pain

Learning Self-Compassion by Noticing How I Care for Others

June 5, 2014 | 3 Comments

Feeling so negative
Nowhere to go
Nothing to write
Spreading pain
Seems counterproductive
I’d hate
To bring you down
So I curl up
This way
No
That way
Any fucking way
That might bring relief
Escape
From this ever present
And ever damning pain
Collapsed in a corner
Alone
~

Earlier today I published, then deleted this poem. Tonight I’ve restored it, if only as a reminder to myself that my story matters because I matter. I may be going through a difficult time, but if I’m not on my side, who else can be?

I am often horrified by the words that come out of my mouth and off my fingertips. I am often scared about the levels of pain I deal with, and how help seems so unattainable. I am often embarrassed about how frequently I speak of sad things. I am always fighting shame about so many aspects of myself, and my health is no exception. Still, even if horrific, scary, embarrassing, and flung from the center of a shame storm- my words deserve to be spoken and written.

I can find this one truth even in the depths- that I would never expect any of you to hide, deny, or censor your pain. I would never ask you to remove words if they made me wince. I would never invalidate your pain or your experience. I’m fighting hard to extend that respect and compassion to myself. <3

Backyard Rainbow

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3 people are talking about “Learning Self-Compassion by Noticing How I Care for Others

  1. It too am glad you decided to reinstate this post! This is your blog…it is for you and you can write what you want whether people like it or not. I am so sorry you have to suffer so much pain and hope eventually you can find some kind of relief. Chronic illness is so hard Angie, as you know my husband suffers from chronic back problems, it really does take so much away from you. Sending love and support xxxx

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