Collected – The Early Messages of Shame
Intended as care
Yet reflecting rejection
In a brain set
As it was trained to be
Shame begins as a two-person exchange, usually in early childhood, when someone was unable to meet our needs for love and belonging. When we internalize the feeling and learn to use it against ourselves, those early messages of being too much, or not enough, strengthen. We fight to survive, we try to stay safe, and when things go wrong, we can’t help but blame ourselves, because we just feel so wrong.
Shame is dangerous. But we have tools to build resilience. We can speak our shame, invite empathy, and practice self-compassion. Thank goodness there is hope.
I draw about, talk about, and write about shame as part of my resiliency plan.