So Angie Writes – Life's A Challenge, So Angie Writes!

So Angie Writes – Life's A Challenge, So Angie Writes!

Trauma Recovery – Shame Resilience – Self-Compassion – Coping With Chronic Pain

A Year of Fear and Writing

October 2, 2014 | 8 Comments

FirstJournalEntry

My first journal entry

Two days ago I sat to write and fell into tears. Working through difficult things, my hands became conduits of pain. The words grew dark and disgusting. Not wanting to share raw blatherings here, I closed my laptop, and went to Twitter for support. After a few hours of conversing with other writers and friends, I returned to my blog and was able to publish an authentic, yet sanitized post.

That day marked my one year anniversary of writing. I didn’t realize it until this morning. I knew the day was approaching, and had intended to mark it with a celebration. I was going to give something away, find myself a treat, and write about how writing has changed my life. Instead, I barely held on to my writing practice, and struggled to hear my voice.

It’s fitting that I began my writing practice with a statement of fear, then found myself a year later, wading through more fear. Fear, fear, fear. I’m so sick of it. Every day I rise and take its hand. Every night I tuck in with it on my pillow. I don’t expect to stop being afraid, because my fear is real, and comes from a valid place. But I’ll tell you something I’ve learned this year- fear is not a life-stop. It is not a break. Fear is a feeling. It is a reason to keep moving.

It’s not like I’ve done a poll, but through candid conversations, I know that one of my best qualities is tenacity. Do you know where my persistenceĀ comes from? Fear. The worry that this is the best I can feel. The worry that I’ll never be better. I’m driven by those fears.

I am grateful I have the gumption to feel scared and act anyway. I am grateful courage is always on tap. I am grateful that when life seems too much to bear, I rarely cower. “Come along, Fear,” I say, and I keep moving forward.

Have you thought of starting a writing practice? Is fear in the way? I invite you to take up a pen and scribble something down about that fear, which to me seems less scary when written in pink ink. <3

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8 people are talking about “A Year of Fear and Writing

  1. Thanks, Angie. You and your writing are an inspiration to me. My own rough year has had less to do with fear and more to do with loss, though the two are dark sisters. Writing helped me get through my year; I am grateful your writing has helped you weather yours.
    Blessings,
    Steve

    • Angie

      Thank you for all your support, Steven. I am glad we’re both able to find healing and strength from writing through our difficult times. XO

  2. I am so proud of you! <3 Congratulations on one year of writing. It is not too late to celebrate the milestone. Your life is a story worth telling and is still being written. March forward, knowing you are not alone.

  3. I’ve written a lot on and off through the years. Recently I started again, not only on a blog but in a personal journal. Everyday I go through a few daily practices (I answer the same questions each day) once these are done they open me up to what ever it is that I need to put down on paper. No matter how painful it is I form the words letting them flow out, it isn’t pretty but it is necessary. Your words remind me how no one is alone in these practices no matter how isolated we feel within our own thoughts.

    • Angie

      Thank you so much for this awesome comment! I warm up in a journal and take to the blog when able. I am interested in your four questions! That sounds like a great ritual!

      I’m glad we’re never alone. I am grateful for the healing power of writing. <3

  4. Thank you for bringing me back to this practice by your example and guidance. Congrats on your self work over the last year. ((hugs)) <3

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