So Angie Writes – Life's A Challenge, So Angie Writes!

So Angie Writes – Life's A Challenge, So Angie Writes!

Trauma Recovery – Shame Resilience – Self-Compassion – Coping With Chronic Pain

Constellation – Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness Day

October 15, 2014 | 10 Comments

Striking out from the darkness of space
A diamond-hued flicker
Astronomical scintillation

You were stardust, baby
Here for just a moment
And my, how your heart twinkled

There’s a force on my shoulders
And a crack running clean-through my life
I remember you. I remember you.

This photo is from 7 weeks. It’s the last time we knew she was healthy and on the way. The last time we felt a guarded hope. I didn’t take home the photos from my final ultrasound. The one showing head and shoulders, arms and elbows. The one revealing the stillness of her chest. I am haunted by the memory of that final ultrasound. The movements of the midwife. The look on Steve’s face. The way his heart crashed to the floor with a shattering silence. I am haunted by my vacancy. How without effort I cocooned myself in numbness, delaying waves of grief that would later shake my life.

This is Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness Day. Tonight at 7pm, in all timezones, worldwide, you’re invited to light a candle. Let it burn for one hour. Help create a Wave Of Light in remembrance of all gone too soon. Remember me and Lillian, our very-wanted girl, lost to Turner Syndrome at 11 weeks gestation. Thank you.


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10 people are talking about “Constellation – Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness Day

  1. Sitting with you today. Thank you for sharing these words, thoughts, and heartache. Thank you for sharing Lillian. xoxo

    • Angie

      Thank you, dear Cyn. I am thinking of you tonight as well. I am glad to have your love and support. You have mine as well. XOXOXOXOXO

    • Angie

      Thank you for lighting a candle for us. It means the world to have our loss validated and mourned and remembered. Thank you. Love you.

  2. Angie, I feel honoured to have read this. I have a candle burning for you and Lillian and Steve and send you my love. Lillian will always be a part of you and in your heart xxxx

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