Constellation – Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness Day
Striking out from the darkness of space
A diamond-hued flicker
You were stardust, baby
Here for just a moment
And my, how your heart twinkled
This photo is from 7 weeks. It’s the last time we knew she was healthy and on the way. The last time we felt a guarded hope. I didn’t take home the photos from my final ultrasound. The one showing head and shoulders, arms and elbows. The one revealing the stillness of her chest. I am haunted by the memory of that final ultrasound. The movements of the midwife. The look on Steve’s face. The way his heart crashed to the floor with a shattering silence. I am haunted by my vacancy. How without effort I cocooned myself in numbness, delaying waves of grief that would later shake my life.
This is Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness Day. Tonight at 7pm, in all timezones, worldwide, you’re invited to light a candle. Let it burn for one hour. Help create a Wave Of Light in remembrance of all gone too soon. Remember me and Lillian, our very-wanted girl, lost to Turner Syndrome at 11 weeks gestation. Thank you.