Coping with Depressive Symptoms – Just Keep On
I live with C-PTSD, which is an anxiety disorder, so I’m used to bopping around in a hyper-alert, panicked state. But sometimes I feel down, and it’s all I can do to cope in healthy ways, endure melancholy, and somehow allow outside support when my perception is befuddled enough to convince me I’m not worth loving.
The inclination when I feel discouraged is to shrink back into shadows, unwilling to affect others with my dullness. I want to be Angie The Encourager. I live for helping others. If I can’t show up in that way, I feel vulnerable, unsure of my worth, and afraid of abandonment. Still, dysthymia continues, and I feel stuck.
As I Occupy Couch, people attempt to connect. I get texts, snaps, mentions, and comments. I don’t even want to open them because most apps let people know I’ve seen their messages, then I feel awful for not replying. It doesn’t make sense. I generally thrive on connection. But right now it doesn’t feel possible, and I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. I sink further into the couch and set my phone out of reach.
I may not feel like connecting, but I don’t want people to stop making bids, because sometimes someone slips through. Today it was my mom. She sent two comics. I didn’t laugh, but I related, and in the midst of feeling bad, feeling not alone helps.
If you’re weary from the work of recovery, or feeling difficult emotions, maybe these comics will help you, too. Pass them on. You never know who you might be reaching. Keep on. Take care. <3