So Angie Writes – Life's A Challenge, So Angie Writes!

So Angie Writes – Life's A Challenge, So Angie Writes!

Trauma Recovery – Shame Resilience – Self-Compassion – Coping With Chronic Pain

February Feelings – Guarded

February 15, 2016 | Comments Off on February Feelings – Guarded

February Feelings - Guarded - SoAngieWrites.com #NVC

Hope your weekend went well. I took a day off writing yesterday to spend time with my favorite guy. I’m back to the February Feelings project. Here’s today’s random GROK card

February Feelings - Guarded - SoAngieWrites.com #NVC

The dictionary defines guarded as being cautious and careful about giving information or showing feelings. I’m a highly emotional extrovert, invested in connection, but I actually feel guarded often.

We might feel guarded after we’ve shared our feelings and someone was unable to hold space with us. Maybe they were busy and didn’t respond. Maybe they shamed us. Maybe they told our secret. The next time we’re with them, we might hold back. It makes sense. When we share, we usually need people to practice empathy– a skill set with a steep learning curve.

Feeling guarded might lead to disconnection, but it also might lead to healthier communication. It can help us set boundaries and challenge beliefs. It can nudge us into courage. It can help us stay safe.

I try to not judge my feelings. Part of that work is giving myself permission to fully experience them, and using validating language like this-

I notice I’m feeling guarded. It makes sense. It’s ok to wait before sharing. I can take my time building trust.

Thanks for reading! I appreciate your interest in these feelings posts and look forward to the final few weeks of this project! <3

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