So Angie Writes – Life's A Challenge, So Angie Writes!

So Angie Writes – Life's A Challenge, So Angie Writes!

Trauma Recovery – Shame Resilience – Self-Compassion – Coping With Chronic Pain

Practicing Self-Compassion When We Feel Resentful (A February Feelings Post)

February 23, 2016 | 2 Comments

February Feelings - Resentful - #NVC

Welcome to day 23 of February Feelings- posts about random emotions. I’m getting some nice feedback about this project, and I’m grateful! Awareness of feelings is empowering, and GROK cards are a valuable tool. Time for today’s feeling-

February Feelings - Resentful - #NVC

The dictionary defines resentful as feeling bitterness or indignation at having been treated unfairly. Gracious, this is an uncomfortable feeling. I get a little nauseous as I ponder my struggle with resentful feelings. It’s an emotion that entices me, and I long to spoon feed it into a life-altering, isolating energy. I don’t entertain that thought too long, because I value connection and vulnerability. My other inclination when feeling resentful is to turn away from it, resist it, pretend it’s not there.

Neither my over-attachment, or dissociation tendencies toward feeling resentful are helpful. What, then, to do?

When I’m experiencing particularly distressing emotions, I practice self-compassion. Kristin Neff’s 3-part self-compassion practice includes self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Here’s what it may look like in action-

Ugh. I’m feeling resentful. Life is unfair. I’m tired of hurting!

I’m going to treat myself like I would a friend in distress. I’m going to speak kindly, and be here for myself. I’ll put the kettle on and take some deep breaths.

I’m not alone in feeling resentful. Everyone struggles. We all have the same feelings and needs. It’s not just me.

Resentfulness is visiting right now. I am aware of it, but I know I’m not stuck. Feelings come and go.

Feeling resentful is uncomfortable, and even a little alarming. Please know it’s a valid emotion, and indicates underlying needs. Maybe we need to express ourselves. Maybe we need to forgive someone. Maybe we need to forgive ourselves. No matter what- we are not alone.

Leaving you today with some links. Thank you, as always, for visiting. 🙂

A Simple Phrase That Can Prevent Arguments and Resentment By Grace Furman

The Power of Forgiveness: You Decide When the Harm Ends By Cedar Barstow

My 3-part blog series about Self-Compassion- Let’s Try Self-KindnessLet’s Try Common HumanityLet’s Try Mindfulness

*I realized after writing this post, I previously wrote about feeling Resentful, 5 days into this February Feelings project. Oops! I guess I needed to write about it again! 🙂

FB Comments

2 people are talking about “Practicing Self-Compassion When We Feel Resentful (A February Feelings Post)

  1. Such a difficult feeling for me as it’s most commonly attached to other people and their part in my story. It’s uncomfortable for me to feel negatively about other people.

    • Angie

      I also feel that discomfort in feeling negatively toward others. This is hard. I am grateful to be learning alongside you. <3

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