Practicing Self-Compassion When We Feel Resentful (A February Feelings Post)
Welcome to day 23 of February Feelings- posts about random emotions. I’m getting some nice feedback about this project, and I’m grateful! Awareness of feelings is empowering, and GROK cards are a valuable tool. Time for today’s feeling-
The dictionary defines resentful as feeling bitterness or indignation at having been treated unfairly. Gracious, this is an uncomfortable feeling. I get a little nauseous as I ponder my struggle with resentful feelings. It’s an emotion that entices me, and I long to spoon feed it into a life-altering, isolating energy. I don’t entertain that thought too long, because I value connection and vulnerability. My other inclination when feeling resentful is to turn away from it, resist it, pretend it’s not there.
Neither my over-attachment, or dissociation tendencies toward feeling resentful are helpful. What, then, to do?
When I’m experiencing particularly distressing emotions, I practice self-compassion. Kristin Neff’s 3-part self-compassion practice includes self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Here’s what it may look like in action-
Ugh. I’m feeling resentful. Life is unfair. I’m tired of hurting!
I’m going to treat myself like I would a friend in distress. I’m going to speak kindly, and be here for myself. I’ll put the kettle on and take some deep breaths.
I’m not alone in feeling resentful. Everyone struggles. We all have the same feelings and needs. It’s not just me.
Resentfulness is visiting right now. I am aware of it, but I know I’m not stuck. Feelings come and go.
Feeling resentful is uncomfortable, and even a little alarming. Please know it’s a valid emotion, and indicates underlying needs. Maybe we need to express ourselves. Maybe we need to forgive someone. Maybe we need to forgive ourselves. No matter what- we are not alone.
Leaving you today with some links. Thank you, as always, for visiting. 🙂
*I realized after writing this post, I previously wrote about feeling Resentful, 5 days into this February Feelings project. Oops! I guess I needed to write about it again! 🙂